really screwed

In the past couple of weeks, my evening scroes have been above 200. THis is really getting me down. I'm wondering if the meds I'm on are going this. I was in the ER this past Sunday because of breathing problems adn am on a really strong drugs. I pray this is fucking up my blood sugar. Anyway, I am going to test my blood sugar twice a day for the next week.

I use the last of the meds on Sunday and hope things will clear up. Also, I have started walking again.

I was sitting here in dispair thinking that I'm going to have to start using the needle and was feeling very depressed. I kept thinking of getting a phone call from Dr. Hostetler (while I'm at work) and having him tell me "Mr. Bell, your A1C is back and it is too high. You're going to have to go on insulin or bayterin{sP}. As I sit there in shock, my precious boss (Ed) starts ragging on me for trivial reasons. (Like he ragged on me this past week...)

I guess this is transference since the man seldom talks to me at all and he was just pissed that I had blown off "proper office procedures". I got back at him by cramming the precious fucking office procedures down his throat. (i.e. reminding me to do paperwork that he probably would have been more happy to fart off...)

I'll have to make a far more coherient report tomorrow. I'm simply still too upset...