well, I finally told my Mother...

My Mom called tonight and asked how we were doing (family and I). I hedged with "well, fairly well..."

Then, I paused and made a tentative opening: "Mom, would you rather know about a problem and worry about it or not know and not be worried?"

"I'd rathern know."

"Humm, I've talked to Jim recently..."

"When were you diagnosed?"

"On 7 May this year. Dr H----- said I'm a type 2."

"You didn't tell me???"

"Well, we didn't want to burden you." (Which was true!)

"Well, Michael, you really should have told me!"

My mother had been fairly sick at that time, her sister was in hospital and her best friend very ill. She later told me that she appreciated that we had not told her.

So, we talked about this for at least a half hour and I missed the end of a TV show that I had wanted to see (an episode of Stargate:SG1...oh, well). The phone call was much more important to me and I felt a great sense of relief at not having to hide. My wife talked with my mother and said she felt relieved as well...

This just left calling my brother, Charlie. He was quite upset and we had a long talk.

I sent my brother Jeff a copy of the email I sent Jim. I printed it out, made a mailing label for him with the label maker at work and sent it off. I believe that a serious note or letter should be sent via postal service rather than email or fax. There is much more privacy and snailmail (and even fax) lack the sometimes distressing informality of email.

I didn't expect him to respond to my letter and he didn't disappoint me. (OK, I figured how many days it would take to reach his heart in the little "Damn Yankee State" he lives in. For those who are offended by calling a "New England State" a "Damn Yankee State", all I can say is that living in the Deep South [Mississippi] when in school leaves it's impact...)

another brother gets it...

I got an email tonight from my brother Jim. It seems that he took a blood sugar test and his "glycohmoblobin was 6.4" (he said normal was 4-6). So, he is testing his blood and warned me to have my MD test me for this condition (diabetes). Well, he is about 21 months younger than me so I guess it just took him a bit longer.

I wrote him back saying that I already was type 2 and that I didn't want to tell Mom for fear of upsetting her.

He replied that "she probably wouldn't be surprised".

I said that I'd think about it and gave me reasons for not telling Mom.

Bad, bad, bad day!

Tuesday, 7 September 2004, started out fairly hopeful and then crashed.

I had a 9 am appointment with the family MD. I had fasted from 7 pm the night before so I figured with 14 hours of fasting, I should be good for a low blood sugar reading. I "tested" my blood about 8 am and it was fine. (Or so I thought...)

I arrived at my MD's office and remembered that I'd been overpaid on my co-payments; the medical center owed me a "free" visit. I went to the business office and a friendly older lady gave me a form to take the MD's nurse (Midge); I did so. After Midge checked my blood pressure and weight (I had not lost as much weight as I had hoped to!), I waited for the Doc. Hedecided that my blood pressure was too high and had me increase the amount of lisinpril that I take (from 10mg to 20mg) every morning.

He examined my eyes and asked me "when was the last time I had seen an optomopist?" (TheMD version) I didn't know and asked him who he could recommend. He recommended an MD who works on the 2nd floor of the Medical Clinic and set me up with a 10:30 am appointment.

Then, I went to the basement where the lab is and waited for my blood tests. Although there werepeople ahead of me, I was the first one called. This RN lead me through a maze of corridorsbefore handing me a large bottle and pointing to the unisex toilet; I was not expecting to have to fill the bottle. I did so and found my way back to the waiting room and in due course, was bleed. Then, I went upstairs to the main floor and decided to have the Pharmacist print out myblood sample readings since 14 May 2004. I wasn't worried since I knew they were fine!

Boy, was I wrong!

The readings were in the high ridicious region and made me wonder if the medications I wastaking had been a waste of time!

It turned out that the meter was set to the wrong scale and when I had read off a reading with a period in it (i.e. 8.6), I was told that I was reading it wrong and that it really was 86! Struck with a feeling of despair, I went to find my MD and tell him. He had dropped me to one metformin tablet per day a couple of months ago; he put me back on two tablets a day. He said hec ould raise me to a higher level of medication and that was a conforting thought!

After that, I went up to the 2nd floor to check into the eye clinic a bit early. There, I was told they couldn't process my debit card and I had to go back to the billing office. There, I had to wait before a young woman with a very soft voice and hesitant manner asked if she could help me.

I said that I needed to charge $15 on my debit card and she went to do this. When she handed methe form to fill, I reached for her pen instead of going for one of the pens in a can. She freaked and told me "not to take her pen". You're afraid of it being stolen, I said. "No, I'm afraid of disease!"

Strange place for her to be working with that fear. She was a somewhat attractive young womanwith rather small breasts that she was showcasing in a very low cut blouse. I enjoyed the view...

I took a "you've paid" form from the young lady and went back to the eye clinic. There, I had to fill in some paperwork and begin waiting. My appointment was for 10:30 am and I got in around 11 am. There, a person who did not introduce herself took answers to various questions. She left and a slender man in his 60s, wearing a Hawaiian flowered shirt, walked in and introduced himsel fas the Dr. (The shirt was a dead give away!)

We chatted and he tested my eyes. Then, he dilated my eyes with the first drops and said he would be back for the next two sets of drops in a few minutes. Now, I had taken sick leave for the morning and seeing as how there was less than a half hour of morning left, I decided there was no way I could make it to work by noon. So, I called my supervisor, told him I was at the eye doctorand they had just dilated my eyes. I said since it would take 3 hours or so for the effects to wearoff, that I had better "pack it in" and take sick leave for the afternoon. He replied "you won't be feeling like it any way". [coming to work, that is and it turned out he was right!]

The eye exam was mainly this MD shining a light into my eyes and checking for leaking bloodvessels. He found none and said my "blood vessels are fine". That was really good newsto hear after the morning ball cruncher!

After that, I put on my wrap around sunglasses and made my way to my vehicle. In spite of the glare, I could see well enough to drive home. I did have to put my hand over the side of my face to shade it.

I think this marked the end of any denial I might have had...