Wednesday, September 28, 2005
"Inhalable insulin gets FDA panel OK" - article on CNN...
about inhalable insulin. This sounds interesting but also
sounds a bit like something that may have been pushed thru
too quickly
You'll have to connect the next two lines or simply go to the highlighted "article" above:
http://www.cnn.com/2005/HEALTH/conditions/09/08/ inhaled.insulin.ap/index.html
Sunday, September 11, 2005
Thank you for contacting your American Diabetes Association. I received your e-mail regarding meters.
The cost of a blood glucose meter and diabetes care supplies is often covered by health insurance. But some insurance companies will not reimburse you. Find out what your insurance company covers and get approval before you buy. Some insurance companies and/or health care systems have special arrangements for certain meters or systems. If you have an established health care team, you should discuss choices and cost before you buy. You can usually find a deal on meter trade-ins with rebates and special purchase offers. Check with your doctor and diabetes educator. Keep an eye on ads and compare prices before you buy.
In the past, before the advent of blood glucose meters, urine testing was the only method for gauging blood glucose levels in one's system. But it is, and always has been, a very imprecise method and does not provide a complete picture of diabetes management.
In most cases, for example, glucose is not detectable in the urine unless the blood glucose levels have been above 180 mg/dl, which means that urine tests are virtually useless at detecting hypoglycemia (low blood glucose levels).
For this reason, and others, health care providers recommend that those interested in attaining good blood glucose control use blood glucose meters, not urine test strips or tablets.
Urine, however, contains many other substances and is still very important in diabetes care. For example, if the body burns fat for fuel in the absence of insulin, poisonous ketones are produced, and these substances find their way into the urine. Also, when the kidneys' filtering processes begin to become impaired, microscopic amounts of protein (microalbuminuria) begin to spill into the urine, which is an early sign of kidney disease.
Urine testing kits are available for testing three different substances in the urine: glucose, ketones (some kits can test for both glucose and ketones), and microscopic amounts of protein (microalbuminuria). Urine tests, though no longer recommended for blood glucose control, still play an important role in diabetes care. They can detect the presence of harmful ketones; new tests can even measure indicators of kidney health.
Home urine glucose tests are available in strip form. They may or may not be less expensive than blood glucose test strips. Insurance companies may not pay for urine test strips, however, because blood glucose meters are now held as the standard.
Strips are either foil-wrapped or in vials, and are marked with shelf-life dates. Strips should be stored according to manufacturer's recommendations, because the chemicals on the strip will react to light, temperature, and changes in humidity. Foil-wrapped strips may be a better choice if strips are infrequently used, to preserve the integrity of the strips.
Urine specimens must either be collected in a clean, dry container (one would then dip the test pad into the collected specimen), or by passing the test pad through the urine stream to saturate it. Timing for the result varies.
Results are obtained by noting the presence of a visible color change on the test pad of the strip. A color scale will indicate the result, either in an estimated quantitative value (example: 250 mg/dl, 300 mg/dl), as a percentage (1/10 percent, ¼ percent, etc.), or a descriptive term (for example, trace, small, or large). People who have problems with color perception or poor visual discrimination are not candidates for using color charts and should use other methods.
Improper handling or storage could skew the readings. There are also certain medications and vitamins that potentially could alter the urine color, causing false results. Check with your health care professional about interfering agents if you plan to use home urine testing products.
Ketone bodies (acetone, acetoacetic acid, and beta-hydroxybutyric acid) are by-products of burning fat, rather than glucose, to fuel the body.
Ketones are a waste product. If they build up, they can lead to very serious energy problems in the body, resulting in diabetic ketoacidosis. The body tries to dispose of ketones as quickly as possible when they are present in the system. Urine test strips can detect ketones as the body tries to rid itself of these poisons.
Ketone testing should be performed by people with type 1 diabetes when their blood glucose is high (usually greater than 240 mg/dl), or as directed by their physician. All people with diabetes who are sick, under stress, or who have blood glucose over 300 mg/dl should also test for ketones, as should pregnant women with any type of diabetes (type 1, type 2, or gestational). And, of course, anyone who suspects onset of ketoacidosis should test for ketones immediately. Check with your diabetes health care professional about the ketone-testing guidelines and record-keeping methods he or she recommends.
Please note: Urine ketone strips will detect only some of the ketone bodies produced by the body, not all of them.
Ketone strips are available in foil-wrapped packets or vials. Follow all manufacturer's guidelines and procedures.
Test results are revealed through color changes, which indicate the presence of ketones, either quantitatively (for example, 5 mg/dl, 15 mg/dl, etc.) or by descriptive terms (for example, negative, trace, small, or large). False positives may occur if you are also using certain medications or vitamins, or if the strips have been handled or stored improperly.
New blood ketone testing meters more accurately detect some ketone bodies and may be preferred by some providers, as previously noted, or they may be used in combination with urine strips.
Talk to your doctor regarding what chemical reactions take place in order for the meter to read the results. Blood glucose meters are small computerized machines that "read" your blood glucose. In all types of meters, your blood glucose level shows up as a number on a screen (like that on your pocket calculator). Be sure your doctor or nurse educator shows you the correct way to use your meter. With all the advances in blood glucose meters, use of a meter is better than visual checking.
Step-by-Step Blood Glucose Checking
Wash and dry your hands.
Prepare the glucose meter. Each meter works a little differently. Read the instructions carefully. At first, you should practice with the meter under the supervision of the doctor or diabetes educator.
Choose your spot. Don't test on the same finger all the time. Choose a different finger each time you check. Prick the side of the fingertip, not right on top. The side hurts less and is less likely to bruise.
Prepare the lancet and finger-pricking device. Like meters, each finger-pricking device is different. Read the instructions and follow them carefully.
Place the finger-pricking device against your finger and push the button.
Squeeze out a drop of blood. Some people have more trouble getting the blood out than others. If it's hard to get a drop of blood out, try hanging your hand down and gently shaking or squeezing the finger. If it is often troublesome to get a drop of blood, ask the doctor to recommend a different lancet or finger-pricking device.
Place the blood on the test strip and put the test strip in the meteraccording to manufacturer directions. Wait for the results.
Record the results in the logbook
Here are a few common problems that can cause inaccurate readings:
Hands are not clean & dry (you forgot to wash them, there's powdered sugar on them from that doughnut you just ate, or you used an alcohol wipe and the alcohol is interfering with the meter) I no longer eat powered doughnuts...alas...
Blood drop is too small
Codes on strips and meter do not match
Dirty meter
To receive our free packet of information on diabetes management and wellness, please reply to this e-mail with your mailing address. You may also contact our National Call Center at 1-800-342-2383 or visit us on the web at www.diabetes.org.
Sincerely,
Jane ......
Email Specialist
American Diabetes Association
1-800-342-2383
www.diabetes.org
===========================================================================================
Monday, September 05, 2005
Information from ADA, request for...
My email to the American Diabetes Association "ask line":
Subject: diabetes testing...
Good morning,
I remember reading that after diabetes was "discovered' in the early
1920s, patients had to boil their urine and basically pull a chemistry
lab experiment one or more times a day. I have a rather horrified
fascination with this and would like to read more on the subject. (My
blood meter works just fine!)
My father and my brother both used the "Pee Test Stripes" in the 1980s.
I'd like to read more about their accuracy. When I told my Mother (the
retired RN) that I had been diagnosed and asked about the "Pee Test
Stripes", she said they were very inaccurate and disgusting to use. She
seconded my MD's recommendation that I buy a meter. For that matter, why
are insurance companies calling the metes "medical devices" and not
paying for them yet are paying for the test stripes?
I use a test strip based blood meter. I called their "help line" and
asked how the machine works. I was asked for my name and phone number
and told a "specialist" would call me. A couple of days later, the
"specialist" called and told me that "the blood has to seep into the
test strip" and then told me how to use the machine. I've known since I
started using one 11 May 2004. I asked her what chemicals were in the
strip, what chemical reactions took place and how the meter read the
results.
She didn't know...
Can you help me with this?
Tks,
Michael
Sunday, September 04, 2005
A grandmother at risk...
Yesterday on CNN, we saw an extroverted young boy (maybe
10 years old) take a reporter to meet his grandmother. His
grandmother said she was a diabetic and it was obvious
that the lady hadn't had much to eat based on what was
around her. She was sitting on what might have been a
raised street. I don't know if she was able to test her
blood sugar and I sincerely hope she is a type 2 and not a
type 1; she obviously did *not* have refrigeration.
On the bright side, type 2 is supposedly very predominate
among the "minorities" and I hope this black grandmother
was another of us type 2s. (For what it is worth, I am one
of the white type 2s.)
My wife and I are wondering what is being done to
save/support the insulin dependent diabetes in this
disaster. If there was *ever* a time for James Lee Witt to
have been running FEMA, now is it!
Saturday, September 03, 2005
A nice letter to the editor...
A nice letter to the editor:
http://dodgeglobe.com/stories/083105/opi_20050831009.shtml
Saturday, August 27, 2005
Your driver's license and *your* state laws:
If you want to read your state laws vis-a-vis your
driver's license, read this material from ADA:
http://www.diabetes.org/advocacy-and-legalresources/discrimination/drivers/pvt-licensemap.jsp
Good news wrt the A1C...
My A1C in May 2004 was 7.9 (high!), in May 2005 7.5 (also
a bit high) and in August 2005 6.8. This is below the
magic figure of 7.0 so my family MD (Dr. Hostetier) and my
optomologist (Dr. Tarwater) are both happy. So was my
Mother when I told her; I wrote two of my brothers but
haven't heard back from them. One will probably say
"that's great!" and the other will probably brag of his
being lower. Oh, well, J and I were always competing...
Monday, August 15, 2005
Perspective...
A couple of nights ago, my wife and I saw an ad on TV that I immediately
mocked. It was a group of people complaining about the stress of having
to fill out the paperwork to get their diabetics supplies and the pure
agony of having to wait in line for their supplies. Then, of course, the
ad mentioned the name of the company that would be their salvation by
doing the paperwork for these folks. They would not have to wait in
line.
I said that obtaining diabetics supplies and waiting in line wasn't much
of a problem for me. My wife said those folks were probably type 1
diabetics and having to test their blood sugar four times a day. That
made me pause and admit that I was probably wrong. (Come to think of
it, this company's offer does sound like a good idea.)
I guess I've gotten spoiled since our family doctor fills out "scripts"
when I phone him and the clinic pharmacy folks fill the forms in for me
and fill the order quickly. The clinic pharmacy also has the cheapest
prices in town; I've checked the "new" drug store, which advertises
having the lowest prices in town and the clinic pharmacy beats them all
by a goodly margin.
I really don't have it too bad.
Sure, I have to test the blood morning and night, Tuesday and Friday.
That is a lot better than four times a day, every day.
I have to take a couple of pills a day. That is a lot better than a
bloody needle, one or more times a day!
My feet are in fine shape. I'm not struggling to get from wheel chair to
wherever like my youngest brother Charlie has to.
While my wife doesn't especially like talking about diabetics, I don't
have the problems that my youngest brother has. He was in hospital with
nearly intractable bacteria infections a number of times and the
surgeons kept whittling off portions of both his legs. (His right leg
ends at mid thigh now and his left foot is basically a stump.) All this
was too much for his wife and they divorced. Oddly enough, after the
divorce, they regained their friendship and are good friends again. (We
might even see RoxAnne again some day but we live in Kansas and they
live in Oregon; visits are rare.)
I am still "young" to this disease and can take metformin without
problems. Our family doctor says it could be 10 or 15 years before I
have to go to stronger medications and he isn't looking for me to go
onto the needle for at least that long! (My 85 year old father-in-law is
on the same dosage of metformin that I am as is another gentleman I
know, who in his middle 70s. A number of my fellow Lions are diabetics
but there is such a conspiracy of silence that I'm barely aware of who
is a diabetic, let along the level of treatment they are receiving!)
I know folks who have survived cancer and some that may not. I think
they'd trade places with me, medicine wise, health wise, if they could.
They might think it would do me good to be in real medical trouble and
to see just how bad bad can be. No thanks! I'll take what God has given
me and be grateful it isn't worst! I can appreciate how bad a bad
situation can be!
I will continue to work out (walk upwards of an hour a day anyway), try
to avoid bad food, try to keep a hopeful mind set and keep seeing the
family doctor when I need to. I read an article by some over
overeducated clown with a PhD who said that folks who actually used
their medical insurance were taking advantage of the system and were
ignoring the costs they were passing along to other folks! Balderdash!
Not going to an MD or dentist when needed ultimately ends up costing
much more. If I'd gone to my MD in June 2004 when I fainted and then had
trouble breathing, I'd have paid a lot less than what the emergency room
charged.
A couple of weeks ago, I was having a bit of trouble breathing because
of a respiratory track infection. I thought about going to the MD and
when my boss said "you shouldn't have come in to work", I immediately
called the clinic and got an appointment. Then, I took the rest of the
day off to rest.
I probably would have had a great deal of trouble sleeping that night
had I not gone to medical and that would have led to many more problems
the next morning. Problems like maybe having a traffic accident. Then, I
would have gone to the MD.
Finally, I have to repeat myself and realize that while I have things
much worst than I did 20 years ago, I know of people who are worst off.
I guess that I can't really "bitch mightily". (No, I don't know the
source of that quote but seem to remember it was said by Saint Abe
Lincoln.
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
Glorious Landing!!!
We watched the landing of Discovery on the TV at work. The
whole office sat around from about 6:45 am CDT to about
7:15 CDT to watch this.
It was quite a relief to see that everything apparently
went well. As one fellow said "I bet there are no atheists
on there!" He was probably right. Any atheists on-board at
the start of the mission most likely were not at landing
time!
It was glorious and well worth watching!
It's nice to know that NASA can still do stuff correctly.
Now, they just have to come up with a far better orbiter
and I fear that they won't be able to do so...
Friday, August 05, 2005
wrong attitude...
I've simply got the wrong attitude toward "testing my
blood"! That is, I check the blood sugar level twice a
day, twice a week (Tuesdays and Fridays actually). I've
realized that I'm going about this the wrong way but have
not let myself get concerned.
I am treating the testing as if it were a school test or
one of the annual weigh-ins we had to endure in the Navy.
The correct attitude would be to adjust my exercise and
food and see if this is producing the desired results. If
it was, great! If not, then I'd have to adjust the
exercise and food.
I've not been able to get on an "even keel" and I'm not
sure that I could even get my wife to really go along with
a rigid schedule. Actually, that is not quite true: she
has been trying to help me "eat right". (I can't blame
myself, now can I???) It's just that neither of us are
very big on eating a lot of fruit and certainly not big on
eating two or more veggies a meal. We just weren't raised
that way!
She likes to joke about me being a "meat and potato man"
and that is true! I also like a good gravy to go with the
good "meat and potatoes". We haven't had regular deserts
in decades and only very seldom have salads with meals. I
guess my diabetics coach is going to have a lot of talking
to do with me if I want to stay healthy...
Just blathering along as it is near 11 pm and nearly time
for me to get off shift...
Wednesday, August 03, 2005
ripped up elbows...
This past Saturday, my wife and I were working security at
the local museum. We were checking driver's licenses and
handing out "beer bands", actually. (Folks weren't
supposed to be able to buy beer without one but I was
later told that the serving crew was selling beers to
people who looked old enough any way.) I was placing my
elbows on the surface of the table when I realized that
there was a flap of skin on the table. It seemed the
surface of the table (made of a slightly rough plastic and
marked "LIFETIME") had been rough enough to abrade the
skin off both my elbows.
Neither elbow was bleeding but I asked for and got band
aids to put on both. I put liquid band aid on both elbows
when we got home. That was a good idea as both elbows
seemed to be on the verge of bleeding.
For the next couple of days, it hurt to put pressure on
either elbow and I had to be careful getting out of bed.
(This is even more ridicious that it sounds!)
That was Saturday and it is now Wednesday evening late and
neither elbow is very much healed. Years ago, they would
have scabbed over by Monday. I guess this business of
diabetics screwing up my healing is living down to it's
potential!
Who would have thought it?
Sunday, July 24, 2005
bad sweets, good sweets...
that any of the artificual sweetners are better for you than sugar and gave this discussion of the best and worst. So, I'll have to see iff'n we've got saccrine at home for
my oatmeal...
betrayed by my diet sodas!!!
bad news:
"FACT:
DIET SODAS ARE NO SALVATION FOR THE OVERWEIGHT: As the U.S. population has grown increasingly overweight, the marketing of diet products to help control weight has
burgeoned. But do diet sodas help reduce obesity? The San Antonio Heart Study took a closer look (#1058). The opposite was true. The group that drank diet soda had the highest incidence of overweight, compared to those who
drank only regular soft drinks (lowest incidence) and those who drank half of one, half of the other (in between). This "raises questions about the advisability of reliance on these products for weight control," say the
authors."
ADA 65th Annual Scientific Sessions: Abstract 1058,
Presented June 12, 2005.
This begs the question: what am I going to drink now that I realize that my Diet Pepsi has been back stabbing my diet attempts and I find regular sodas too damned sweet. Also, water is fine but boring! I suppose that I could "move to" fruit juices or veggie juices (i.e. tomato
juice).
I wonder if my "diabetics coach" can offer suggestions when she call on 2 August? Maybe she can explain what happened to the information packets she was going to mail me
Monday, July 18, 2005
the possibility of hypoglycemia in spite of taking metformin...
Metformin does not usually cause hypoglycemia (low blood sugar). Nevertheless, hypoglycemia may occur in the treatment of
diabetes, as a result of skipped meals, excessive exercise, or alcohol consumption. Know the signs and symptoms of low blood sugar, which include hunger, headache, drowsiness, weakness, dizziness, a fast heartbeat, sweating, tremor, and nausea. Carry a non-dietetic candy or glucose tablets to treat episodes of low blood sugar.
However, I think the odds of me dropping into hypoglycemia are quite small so I don't think I'll start carrying "non-dietetic candy or
glucose tablets" quite yet.
I trust that I have properly "sourced" the quoted material above...
Thursday, June 30, 2005
My progress (or lack thereof) and attitude changes...
| On 13 June 2005, my health insurance company (I feel silly calling them a "provider") sent out a letter advertising a free Diabetics Help Service. This would amount to a nurse calling me once a month to see how I'm doing. Well, my first reaction was "I'm doing fine and that I don't need any hand holding from a nurse". Then, I got to thinking that maybe I did. I didn't spend any time trying to figure out why; I figured the answers would come to me if I just waited. I called their number and set up an appointment. I wasn't convinced that I needed it but I was willing to check it out. I did not want to have someone ragging me about my weight or my inability to reduce it. (Kind of a flashback to all those years in the Navy fighting my weight problems.) This morning, at work, I heard my boss talking about someone he knew who had diabetics and ate what he wanted. This friend had a job that keep him on the road a lot so the man ate a lot of fast food. Apparently, he is on the verge of losing a foot and doesn't want to (no shit?). I mentioned how my youngest brother and my father had both lost legs because they had not taken their diabetics seriously. Then, I said "that is the scarey thing" and meant it. That got me thinking that maybe I should be taking my diabetics more seriously. True, I walk religiously (half hour to an hour a day) and try to control what I drink and have basically gone on the wagon. Still, I weighed myself yesterday and if I read the clinic scale correctly, I've gained four (4) pounds! The first several months, I was eating God Awful mixtures of vegetables and small amounts of meat (chicken or beef or pork) and wasn't losing weight. I find that I've settled back into a "more normal diet". Alas! We had our every-other-Thursday-lunch-for-those-working-the-day-shift luncheon. For the second time, I made homemade vanilla ice cream. My chilli, soups, etc. have never gotten a decent reception at work but my ice cream went over verybig. Very big indeed!
6 cups of whipped cream This was very discouraging given that I was thinking that I felt like I'd lost weight last week. Isuppose I really need that nurse after all... When she calls, I'm doing to tell her about the walking and the inability to lose weight. Maybe she can send me a low cal, lose weight, diabetic friendly diet. I know that I'll "bitch mightily" (an Abraham Lincoln quote, I think...) but it might help save my life. At least, I'll be able to hear Dr. Hosteller tell me that I've lost weight when I go in for a blood test in late August (2005). |
Thursday, March 17, 2005
Bad foods that have now been rehabilitated...
Here are some once bad foods that are now supposedly good for you". This list includes eggs and dark choclate. Maybe the joke in that old Woody Alan movie about choclate sundaes being great for you had more truth in it that we thought at the time...
Sunday, February 27, 2005
Ways to prevent or at least to reduce the chances of developing cancer...
Here are nine (9) "helpful hints" on ways to prevent cancer. Well, if not prevent cancer, then at
least to reduce the odds of developing these diseases.
Saturday, December 25, 2004
A "Politically Correct" Christmass Greeting
Greeting!
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, nonaddictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within
the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice
religious or secular traditions at all . . .
. . and a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2005, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other
cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great, (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only "AMERICA" in the western hemisphere), and without
regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform of the wishee.
(By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to
actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where pribited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of
good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of
the wisher.
This came from a co-worker and may even be origional!
Sunday, September 19, 2004
well, I finally told my Mother...
Then, I paused and made a tentative opening: "Mom, would you rather know about a problem and worry about it or not know and not be worried?"
"I'd rathern know."
"Humm, I've talked to Jim recently..."
"When were you diagnosed?"
"On 7 May this year. Dr H----- said I'm a type 2."
"You didn't tell me???"
"Well, we didn't want to burden you." (Which was true!)
"Well, Michael, you really should have told me!"
My mother had been fairly sick at that time, her sister was in hospital and her best friend very ill. She later told me that she appreciated that we had not told her.
So, we talked about this for at least a half hour and I missed the end of a TV show that I had wanted to see (an episode of Stargate:SG1...oh, well). The phone call was much more important to me and I felt a great sense of relief at not having to hide. My wife talked with my mother and said she felt relieved as well...
This just left calling my brother, Charlie. He was quite upset and we had a long talk.
I sent my brother Jeff a copy of the email I sent Jim. I printed it out, made a mailing label for him with the label maker at work and sent it off. I believe that a serious note or letter should be sent via postal service rather than email or fax. There is much more privacy and snailmail (and even fax) lack the sometimes distressing informality of email.
I didn't expect him to respond to my letter and he didn't disappoint me. (OK, I figured how many days it would take to reach his heart in the little "Damn Yankee State" he lives in. For those who are offended by calling a "New England State" a "Damn Yankee State", all I can say is that living in the Deep South [Mississippi] when in school leaves it's impact...)
Tuesday, September 14, 2004
another brother gets it...
I wrote him back saying that I already was type 2 and that I didn't want to tell Mom for fear of upsetting her.
He replied that "she probably wouldn't be surprised".
I said that I'd think about it and gave me reasons for not telling Mom.
Tuesday, September 07, 2004
Bad, bad, bad day!
I had a 9 am appointment with the family MD. I had fasted from 7 pm the night before so I figured with 14 hours of fasting, I should be good for a low blood sugar reading. I "tested" my blood about 8 am and it was fine. (Or so I thought...)
I arrived at my MD's office and remembered that I'd been overpaid on my co-payments; the medical center owed me a "free" visit. I went to the business office and a friendly older lady gave me a form to take the MD's nurse (Midge); I did so. After Midge checked my blood pressure and weight (I had not lost as much weight as I had hoped to!), I waited for the Doc. Hedecided that my blood pressure was too high and had me increase the amount of lisinpril that I take (from 10mg to 20mg) every morning.
He examined my eyes and asked me "when was the last time I had seen an optomopist?" (TheMD version) I didn't know and asked him who he could recommend. He recommended an MD who works on the 2nd floor of the Medical Clinic and set me up with a 10:30 am appointment.
Then, I went to the basement where the lab is and waited for my blood tests. Although there werepeople ahead of me, I was the first one called. This RN lead me through a maze of corridorsbefore handing me a large bottle and pointing to the unisex toilet; I was not expecting to have to fill the bottle. I did so and found my way back to the waiting room and in due course, was bleed. Then, I went upstairs to the main floor and decided to have the Pharmacist print out myblood sample readings since 14 May 2004. I wasn't worried since I knew they were fine!
Boy, was I wrong!
The readings were in the high ridicious region and made me wonder if the medications I wastaking had been a waste of time!
It turned out that the meter was set to the wrong scale and when I had read off a reading with a period in it (i.e. 8.6), I was told that I was reading it wrong and that it really was 86! Struck with a feeling of despair, I went to find my MD and tell him. He had dropped me to one metformin tablet per day a couple of months ago; he put me back on two tablets a day. He said hec ould raise me to a higher level of medication and that was a conforting thought!
After that, I went up to the 2nd floor to check into the eye clinic a bit early. There, I was told they couldn't process my debit card and I had to go back to the billing office. There, I had to wait before a young woman with a very soft voice and hesitant manner asked if she could help me.
I said that I needed to charge $15 on my debit card and she went to do this. When she handed methe form to fill, I reached for her pen instead of going for one of the pens in a can. She freaked and told me "not to take her pen". You're afraid of it being stolen, I said. "No, I'm afraid of disease!"
Strange place for her to be working with that fear. She was a somewhat attractive young womanwith rather small breasts that she was showcasing in a very low cut blouse. I enjoyed the view...
I took a "you've paid" form from the young lady and went back to the eye clinic. There, I had to fill in some paperwork and begin waiting. My appointment was for 10:30 am and I got in around 11 am. There, a person who did not introduce herself took answers to various questions. She left and a slender man in his 60s, wearing a Hawaiian flowered shirt, walked in and introduced himsel fas the Dr. (The shirt was a dead give away!)
We chatted and he tested my eyes. Then, he dilated my eyes with the first drops and said he would be back for the next two sets of drops in a few minutes. Now, I had taken sick leave for the morning and seeing as how there was less than a half hour of morning left, I decided there was no way I could make it to work by noon. So, I called my supervisor, told him I was at the eye doctorand they had just dilated my eyes. I said since it would take 3 hours or so for the effects to wearoff, that I had better "pack it in" and take sick leave for the afternoon. He replied "you won't be feeling like it any way". [coming to work, that is and it turned out he was right!]
The eye exam was mainly this MD shining a light into my eyes and checking for leaking bloodvessels. He found none and said my "blood vessels are fine". That was really good newsto hear after the morning ball cruncher!
After that, I put on my wrap around sunglasses and made my way to my vehicle. In spite of the glare, I could see well enough to drive home. I did have to put my hand over the side of my face to shade it.
I think this marked the end of any denial I might have had...
Thursday, August 12, 2004
Diabetes Screening Day, Cancelled...
Monday, August 09, 2004
"Diabetic Screening Day", a update on...
delivered. Then, if they immediately acted upon my proposal and sent back a response, tomorrow (Monday the 9th) will be the earliest that I could expect a response. It will probably be considerably later as they will probably have to spend time conferring on when and if they can afford to send people.
On a different subject, I may have lined up a church to hold this screening event in. (Of course, the others on the Diabetics Education committee will have their opinions of where to hold this!)
I'll be discussing this with the Club Board of Directors this coming Thursday (the 12th) I've seen the manager of the local Dillions grocery store several times socially lately and I think that I
can hit her up to donate consumables. (i.e. latex gloves, alcohol wipes, needle puncture device, needles, test stripes and glucose testing machines) If she can't donate, I think I can talk her into selling them to us wholesale. (Since I'm not the most charismatic and certainly not a natural sales-person, I think I'll ask some more gifted people to make the sales pitch!)
wine, not just "for thy stomach's sake" anymore (a repeat)
SUBJ: Not just for "thy stomack's sake" but good for losing weight
Reducing fat cell could delay the onset of type 2 diabetes. Who would have thought this
could lead to a reduction in fat cells!
I'll drink to this!
Krispy Kreem donuts, the easy way! (a repeat)
didn't turn out well...
Liquid Krispy Kremes doughnuts! All that good sugar* without spending calories in having to chew it! Just what we dibetics really need!
*Yes, this is irony.
Friday, August 06, 2004
Not just for "that stomack's sake" but good for losing weight
lead to a reduction in fat cells! I'll drink to this!
Thursday, August 05, 2004
A Diabetes Screening Saturday, first step in arranging for this...
Michael
address deleted
30 July 2004
American Diabetes Association
837 South Hillside
Wichita, Kansas 67211
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am a member of a Lions Club and am on our Diabetics Awareness
Committee. I
have been wondering how many undiagnosed diabetics are in or near our
city, and I think it
would be a good idea to have a diabetics screening some Saturday. In the
past, the Lions
Screening bus has gone around Kansas to perform this duty; however,
lately, their schedule has
been somewhat curtailed.
It seems to me that organizing a screening would require:
1. Finding a meeting place. Possibilities include
the Knights of Columbus Hall or the Nazarine
Church (both have hosted Red Cross blood drives). I have not talked to
either organization.
2. Personnel to draw the blood and use the glucose
meter: We need experienced and certified
personnel (your people or local medical personnel) for this. While I am
experienced in drawing
and testing my blood, I lack liability insurance and any professional
certifications.
3. Expendables: I imagine that you have a fairly
large supply of glucose meters, test stripes,
needle devices, alcohol wipes, disposable gloves, etc. If not, perhaps
we could ask Dillions or
Walmart to donate the necessary equipment or sell it wholesale.
4. Expenses: While I think it would nice to have
this a free event, we could conceivable cover the
costs by charging a nominal fee or asking for a free will donation. This
might have the advantage
of attracting only serious attendees.
5. Advertising: I work less than a block from the
local CBS TV station's local affiliate and I
would be pleased to ask them to cover this event. My wife knows the
personnel at the local
newspaper and could arrange for the newspaper to cover this.
The coverage would
include when the screening would occur, what would be involved and
emphasize that everyone
being screened should fast overnight.
I have discussed this with the President of the local Kiwanis Club
and I believe that we could have
members of the Kiwanis and Lions available to provide proper
refreshments and to serve as "go-fers".
I am willing to work on setting this up if we could get your help or
at least your sanctioning.
Very Respectfully,
odnuts, the easy way!
Monday, July 26, 2004
Tired of it all...
Columbus hall but the new club President is also a board member at a local
museum. So, we went to the formal dining room of this museum and had a
really nice salad. Well, for $6 each and a choice of water or ice tea it
damned sure better have been nice! (Actually, it was quite a bit nicer than
the current meals at the Knights or maybe that is simply the shock of
something new. When I went to junior college, we got a new catering service
one year and we all thought the new food was wonderful. However, after about
the fifth time we'd had some recipes, we were completely tired of it!)
We were supposed to have ice cream for desert but they never brought it out.
I had been wondering if Carla was going to rag on me about eating ice cream
but she never got a chance.
After the Lions meeting, I went to the first aid course (1:30 - 4:08). It
was supposed to be a two hour course but I kind of helped make it run late.
Then, I decided that I was completely sick and tired of "being good" and
went to Dairy Queen and had myself a medium hot fudge sundae. Well, having
done this, I'm fully ready to "be good" for a while longer...
Saturday, July 10, 2004
less pain...
This ad just seems like explotation to me.
As an aside, you can't tell where my brother-in-law Jack Q. is testing his blood just by looking at his forearms...
I guess my "secret" is fairly safe. (Secret? With the exception of my side of the family, my diabetes is known to everyone who matters to me...)
Thursday, July 08, 2004
Instruction...
had gotten into a pissing contest and had not talked to each other from
early spring 1971 to sometime in the late 1980s. I decided that my brother
Jeff and I were in danger of this happening so I wrote my dear brother,
explained this and said it was time to patch up those childhood problems.
Well, me dear brother wrote back saying that if it weren't for us being
brothers, we would never have met. He talked about his life
revolving around his wife, kids, in-laws, co-workers, church friends, etc.,
etc. and effectively disowned me.
I was pissed.
My feelings were hurt.
Well, my youngest brother was also disowned and we felt closer for this.
About two years ago, my brother's Jim and Charlie were with my wife and I at
my Mother's house. Jim explained that Jeff had "driven a wedge between him
and his brothers". Jim didn't know why. I would have figured that Charlie
and I are lowly 5 figure a year worker bees and Jim is in the low 6 figures
and Jeff makes a lot more. We figured that having kids in common and not
being a lowly wage slave would have bonded Jim and Jeff. Apparently not; Jim
was apparently "beyond the pale" as well.
We're going to drive over and see my mother later this summer. She has
scheduled a family dinner and told me that Jeff and his younger daughter
will be coming to town. I was completely shocked! I haven't seen Jeff's
second girl since she was in diapers and now she is in 5th grade! It will be
like meeting the girl for the first time!
Well, I'm going to make the most of this visit as I'm not likely to meet the
girl again until my mother's funeral and then I will likely never see her
again.
So, how do I feel about lying to my family or at least not being candid
about the type 2?
No big deal! I haven't told my parents (mother now) or brothers anything
that really matters to me since I was 13 or 14. This would be about 38 to 40
years of secretiveness and I don't really see anything to be gained by the
speaking. My family has become my wife's father (a widower), my wife's
sisters, their husbands and to a minor extend the nieces and nephews.
I'll change that a little. My youngest brother is in the "family category".
My other brothers are in the brother but not at all close" category. 'Tis
a damn shame, actually. When my brother Jim and I were small boys, people
thought we were fraternal twins (one bigger than the other) since we were
inseparable.
I grieve for the loss of my family and wonder if doing an 8 step and 9 step
"admission of guilt" for my "sins of omission" might help?
too high and then too low...
asked what my blood sugar readings were. When I told him, he said the
readings were too low! I started this business of two
tabs (500 mg each) per day of metformin and two blood sugar tests a day, two
days a week since he was concerned.
This was a bit of a let down. It would seem that my body is reacting in the
abnormal category. (Like this is a surprise to me? Hugh amounts of caffeine
put me to sleep and commercial sleeping pills have me wandering around the
house, wide awake and stoned. I avoid both...)
Wednesday, July 07, 2004
Take this test!
I took it somewhat after the fact and the test was quite accurate.
I "took" it for a co-worker of mine and guessed that he didn't have Diabetes in his family and probably underestimated his weight. My friend came up in the "high risk category!
I think that I'll xerox off the printed version and distribute them to all my co-workers. Perhaps, I can cloak in the guise of a "work place related issue " and get our union steward to "stir her stumps" and distribute the forms (no, this woman isn't probably at risk for diabetes as she is rather slender; very nicely "top sided" but we married men aren't supposed to notice such "d"-lightful things! (Married but definitely not blind!)
Back to an earlier subject: if you think Orwell was unduely pessimistic, reread "1984" or "Animal Farm" and then consider the number of cities putting cameras on the streets...
Wednesday, June 16, 2004
...a time to keep silent and a time to speak up...
"Ecclesiastes 003:007 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;"
Last Thursday (10 June 2004), I took a CPR course at work. This was combined with a first aid course which emphasized the doctrine that falling to the floor unconscious is a serious event and should lead to a hospital visit. They also emphasized that a symptom of shock is "cold clammy skin". (i.e. cold sweat)
I went home and one standing in front of my couch when I suddenly realized that I wasn't breathing. Everything went a dark gray and I remember thinking "I'd better start panting or I'm going to collapse." The next thing I knew, I realized I was sitting on the floor and felt a sharp pain over the base of my skull. I looked around the room and from the appearance of things, it looked like I had fainted and struck the folding TV tray; the stuff on it was stead over the living room. Something had hit a table lamp next to the couch and it was on the floor.
I was having trouble breathing and couldn't stop deep breathing. I tried my asthmatic inhaler to no avail. I tried the old "breath in for 5 second, hold for 5 seconds and breath our for 5 seconds". (I still thought that I was simply hysterical and not suffering from a lung problem.) When Kathie got home, I talked about everything else first and mentioned in passing
that I had fainted. She was very upset. (I'll explain why in a few sentences.)
I called my MD's office and both he and his nurse were out of the office. None of the other Md. or Nurse Practitioners had openings. I was advised to go to the Emergency Room and go to the Family Practice room. We did. A nurse asking my symptoms asked "are you a diabetic"? I was rather startled and replied "yes". A couple of minutes later, I asked "why
did you ask if I am a diabetic"? Her reply: "what happened to you was a classic diabetic action".
I had been thinking of telling my Mother that I had fainted, had trouble breathing and went to the hospital. That business of "classic action" reminded me that my Mother is a highly skilled RN (albeit retired). She would undoubtedly realize that I'm a diabetic and I have been trying to avoid her finding out. So, the letter I eventually wrote was nicely sanitized
of any diabetic related information.
What had upset my wife and would have really upset my Mother is something that I had blocked out: the day before my Father died of congestive heart failure, he had gone to the bathroom and after leaving it said "I just fainted". Ok, so, he was a type 1 diabetic, had been a 2-3 pack a day unfiltered cigarette smoker for about 35 years and had had a triple bypass years before. He was far less healthy that I am! But, that
is no excuse when you consider the comparison!
They checked my blood oxygen level and found it to be 68% normal. No wonder I was out of breath.
They then took me back to an examining room, put me on O2, wrapped a blood pressure cuff around my right arm and then left me there for a while. About a half hour later, the second nurse to see me "handed me off" to a third nurse, wrapped a name tag around my right wrist and kept scaring me by talking about "checking me in". To me, that sounded like a "room with[out] a view" for the night. They
finally reassured me that I wasn't going to be a "house guest for the night". They took a blood sample and left.
The MD finally arrived and we had a long talk about my symptoms. Dr. Johnson said it wasn't heart related but needed to see X-rays. They offered to wheel me to the X-Ray room in a wheelchair and I politely declined this offer. The X-Ray tech was a fine young man with a Caribbean accent. I could understand maybe 60% of what he said. (My wife said one of the nurses complained bitterly about the difficulty of understanding this young man.)
Dr. Johnson explained the images on the two X-Ray images and said I had pneumonia.
After that, it was just a matter of getting a very large shot in the butt and going to a local drug store to buy the medicine (ZITHROMAX
TAB 250 MG). I then went out to work, filled out and turned in a leave [of absence] request form and showed the acting boss the "Medical excuse form". The "medical excuse form" was an order for me to stay at home, rest and not exert myself. It was a good thing that I had this as my acting boss didn't seem to happy at having to authorize my time off. He is one of those fellows who never gets sick and doesn't believe in missing work for merely being sick...
As an aside, I wonder why my acting boss, who is scheduled to work 8 am to 4:30 pm, was still there at past 8 pm?
Then, it was home to take the first two pills, pain killers for headache and body pain and drinking lots of water.
When I have an upper respiratory disorder and cough a lot, I strain my vocal cords and end up with laryngitis. So, my mother called the evening of Sunday, the 13th and asked about my voice. I told her it was pneumonia and she got quite upset. I reassured her that the prognosis was good and I believe the Do.
This was just confirmation that I should keep my mouth shut about this. I know folks who say with sincerity "We all have our crosses to bear". Well, the knowledge of "my" diabetics is my "cross to bear" and is now something my wife and her father bear; it is not a cross for my Mother to bear. She has had to carry too damn many crosses of
her own...
This is probably going to be about the longest of my diatribes.
Verbosely yours,
Michael
P.S.: I suppose it would not hurt to leave my last name as the folks who know my writing style will correlate name and style easily. But, being secretive by nature, I will leave it one of life's little mysteries...
PS2: I wrote this in Word proofread it in Word; I didn't check what Word changed the final time I used the Word proofreader and it replaced "X-Ray" with "Ray". What a system!?!?!?!
Friday, June 04, 2004
Not a good morning...
This mean the test strip was useless.
I cursed, put a fresh strip in the meter, poked a new hole in my arm and made sure there was plenty of blood in the drop. This time, the meter ""liked the amount of blood available and gave me a reading of 73. (Normal reading for me should be 70 to 150 units so I'm fine!)
This was not a good morning.
This was the morning that blood testing suddenly got old and the rush of excitement at the "new thing" has worn off...
Now, off to get meself weighed. (Ah, more disillusinment?)
Weight loss and changes to eating habits...
wife's. Well, with the need to fast before the blood test at or about 7 am, I couldn't eat that 4:30 am breakfast. I decided that if I ate then on non-blood testing days then my body would be expecting breakfast at 4:30 am. I quit eating at 4:30 am and have gotten used to feeling hungry till I eat between 7:30 am and 8:30 am.
I am now used to being hungry in the late morning and early afternoon before going home to eat lunch. I do confess to occasionally having a snack or two during the morning. I also have given up on eating snacks before going to bed when I'm on the 3 pm to 11 pm shift. That may have been the real reason for me losing weight.
Anyway, I went shopping for summer shorts and it appears that I've lost about 4 inches of girth. (Of course, my trousers don't feel any looser so I have to question my optimistic assumption.) I'll go weigh myself tomorrow and see what the past month has led to...
Preception vs Reality and Cautionary Tales...
I used to work with a man named "Carl" who was your basic out-of-control type 1 diabetic. Carl was subject to severe mood swings and would often get pedantic when he should have been practical. (i.e. When you've got a crisis because your computer network is down and I'd ask him for help in relaying data, I didn't need a lecture on how to relay the data,
I need Carl to push the buttons and make the relay happen!
One of the stories about Carl is that he was seen giving himself an insulin shot in evening. Carl was going to a party and planned on having chocolate cake; he was guessing the proper insulin dosage. (Carl died of complications early in 2004.)
I remember seeing my late father do the same thing and also inject himself before planning on drinking a lot of beer at a steak barby. Christ Mass of 2003, I saw my baby brother wander off into the kitchen and give himself a guesstimated shot because he was planning on eating Christ Mass cake and pie! Well, he's not dead yet but he'd better get his shit together...
I tend to worry about him and tend to worry about losing my feet, etc.
So, I don't plan on telling many folks who know me for fear of being seen only as "the diabetic" and not as me!
Are there rumours floating about me?
matter) and said:
"What rumors have you heard about me?"
"Nothing! I'd don't hear any rumors; I'm too busy trying to dig myself
out from the hole I'm in." (This man is still trying to survive a couple
of DWIs...)
"Well, on May 7th, I was diagnosed as being a diabetic and I'm wondering
if anyone has talked about that?"
"Humm. I thought Jesse was the new diabetic. I saw the links to diabetic
website and figured it was him."
"No, it was me." (I wonder how to tell Jesse as he is quite overweight;
he is maybe 8 years younger than me and might not be there yet...)
So we discussed me being "on the pill", testing for blood
sugar levels and that was that. It also affirmed my suspicion that
people were editing my "favorite" list on browser and could explain who
removed my link to the Scotsman online
Wednesday, June 02, 2004
I learn to use the Blood Sugar Meter (ane what a joke that was)...
The Pharmacist was out to lunch and was due "back in 15 minutes" so I sat down to wait. I wait closer to a half hour (it must be nice to be the boss and thus able to set your own hours.) While waiting, a friend (a retired minister) in his 70s came in. I told him why I was there and he said he was a diabetic himself and had been taking "the pill" for years. It was a comforting feeling to know that I wasn't the only person with this problem.
The Pharmacist had the medicines all right but no instructions on which blood sugar meter to sell me. He had a little pen shaped needle device meant for poking holes in one's finger. I asked for one that would punscure the forearm. He also had a couple of varieties of testing devices, some cheap and the best a bit more expensive. I told him that I wanted the "take-it-from-the-arm" device and he said he'd check with the family MD. Unfortunately, the family MD and his nurse had taken the afternoon off. I said that I'd be back the next morning between 9 am and 9:30 am.
We (Kathie, her visiting father and I) rolled in at almost 10 am on Tuesday, 11 May 2004. The Pharmacist had asked the family MD which blood sugar tester to sell me. Dr. H. said to leave it up to me...
I figured that if I was going to be using this blood sugar tester for years to come, I might as well buy the expensive one, the US$80 one. I asked the Pharmacist how to use it. He pulled out the device and showed it to me; then, he gave me the pen shaped puncture device and said to practice with a supply of old test strips. At this time, my MD's nurse (Midge) showed up and took charge of the situation. We went to a vacant treatment room and got ready.
First, we had to calibrate the meter by setting the time in it. (We used my wrist watch as I had set it to the nearest second a few days before.) Then, we tried opening the pen to put a needle in. We could not get the damned thing to open. We thought we were in danger of breaking it when Dr. H (family MD) stuck his head in the door. He showed us how to open it and insert the needle.
Next, it was time to learn how to use the device.
I figured that since I was going to be using it, then I should be the one to be stabbing myself. We wiped off a section of my left forearm, set the needle depth at a medium range and I stabbed my arm. You could tell that a hole had been made but no blood came out. I then reset the needle depth for the maximum and after a total of seven (7!) trials, realized this needle was never going to lead to a geyser, just dry holes. I poked the finger and it bleed nicely. Then, a last failure on the forearm. Midge went and got a different variety of needle device, one with a stronger spring and made for forearms. This produced a nicely productive hole.
We were in business and we then tried using the testing device. We couldn't get it to work. Dr. H dropped by to see how we were doing and told us the test strip had to be positioned just right for capillary action to suck in the blood. After that, it worked just fine.
By this time, it was past 10:30 am and Kathie and her father had been sitting out front in the waiting room. I bought the required gear and we left. Kathie said that she'd seen quite a number of people that she knew and they had not gotten bored.
When I went to work that night, I told my boss that I'd become a diabetic and would be taking blood sugar readings twice a day, two days a week. (Tuesday and Friday about 7 am and 7 pm.) John, my first level supervisor simply listened and said "OK". My second level supervisor was obviously creeped out at the notion of poking holes in one's self and asked if there was anything that I needed. I said "no" and that I would be doing this in private.
That evening, I wondered over to an office cube that was hidden from the rest of the audience and did my first at work test. It was far more stressful planning for and anticipating the blood test than it was to do it. Odd how that can happen...
the MD speaks...
This is the day that I was forced to realize that I am a diabetic and will have to accept that. I've suspected that I was close to being diabetic or actually a diabetic for about 3 years now; I was simply in denial. But, the Fasting Blood Sugar test of 195 (after fasting for roughly 13 hours) was pretty damningly convincing; I am now a diabetic and will have to deal with this.
I will be on a pill (metforman), two pills a day. I'll have to test my blood sugar twice a day, two days a week. Dr. H. says he'll write a script for a finger testing machine; I would rather have urine strips or that sample-from-the-arm that is being advertised on TV. Either way, I am not looking forward to having to endure this. Oh, taking the pills (not a needle, Thank God!)
will just mean adding another pill to my morning regime of lisinopril (10mg) and the buffered aspirin (81mg). That simply means that I have to keep track of when the pills will run out and make sure that I keep supplied. (Maybe I can get the VA to start supplying me at a cheaper rate than the hospital rate of $18 per month?)
I wonder if this will keep me from donating blood?
It is the stabbing my finger that has me getting stressed...
Kathie and I talked about this briefly. The Doc called her, she had him call me and called me after Dr. H. talked with me. I don't want to stress my mother with this or my brother Charlie either. (Part of what killed my father was dibetics and my brother Charlie has been in and out of hosipials for years and recently lost his right leg in mid thigh.) I'm not sure how my
brother Jim would react (probably unemotionally) and I really don't know how Jeff would react. (Would he even care? I'm too estranged from him to think it would care. Would he just get snippy and snide about me not losing 100 pounds years ago? That is the snitty response and probably the "real life" response.)
I'll have to start checking my feet and will probably get overly concerned about them.
I'll be worrying that if I don't lose weight, I will end up having to "move up to" the needle and I'm not sure that I'll ever be able to face that...
After my MD called, I told Fritz and several other people in the office (Jen, Rick and one or two others) about this. They were sympathetic and that helped. I didn't tell my immediate supervisor as he was gone for the day or the office manager as he was in his office. By the time the "big boss" had left his office, I was not in the mood to talk about this. I'm not in denial anymore but just didn't want to discuss it...
There is a great Calvin and Hobb cartoon where in:
Miss Wormwood: "Calvin, do you know what state you live in?"Stern expression on her face.
Calvin, eyes rolling: "Denial."
Miss Wormwood, muttering: "I can't argue with that."
Walked off, shaking her head.
Thursday, May 06, 2004
Waiting For the Shoe to Drop...
My youngest brother is a type 1 Juvenile onset diabetic; he "came down with" this disease when he was about 14 years old. I don't know for sure as I was overseas in the Navy at a lovely little place in the Southeast Pacific (Guam). My brother's right leg was removed in mid-thigh in early spring 2004.
I worry about my brother quite a bit but don't want my immediate family to worry about me. So, while I've told my father-in-law, I can't bring myself to tell my brothers or my mother. I don't think my brothers will find this blog...
But, if my family does find out and I haven't told them, I recommend they try denial, thinking good thoughts about my health and just think that I couldn't be a diabetic because surely I would have told them. (This is denial on my part as my family know how secretive I tend to be...)
So, why am I sprewing this out? Because my wife is embarrassed when I do mention "my condition" and posting my remarks to a blog sounds like a private confession that few will read. sigh